I don't even like Elvis Costello

but I recently came upon the My Aim Is True album and looked at the back because it has that "Alison" song that everyone used to always sing to me when I lived in Ad Astra. When I was looking I realized that not only is Track 5 titled "Alison" and spelled the same as my name, but Track 4 right before it is titled "Blame It On Cain." That, to me, is really weird...

this was going to be about how i didn't give a fuck today and how good it felt to not care what people think for one second.

it seems if i think i have a good attitude for japan it's a bad attitude for america, and if a good attitude for america, it's horrible for japan.

now it's getting towards 3 am.

fuck my life.

i refound the shoes i want!

Akihabara

yesterday around noon some guy stabbed and killed 7 people in broad daylight on a busy street in Akihabara, the electronic district in Tokyo. yeah, i don't really want to ever go there now.

i've been so busy lately! it's almost a surprise. this weekend i saw three contemporary art museums, and went to see my friend monika's band. i have a sleep deficit. i think my goal for the rest of my time here is from now on to fill up as much of my time possible with fun things to make the time pass quickly until i can go home. i talked to cass for the first time in months, for two hours and could've talked for much longer.

in the next week i'll go see another friend's band and also go to see mika miko twice! oh god. sometimes i wonder if this is reality or if i'm still in lawrence taking a nap and dreaming about all this--not because living here makes me happy, but more because it really puzzles me that i've been able to live so long so far away from where my heart is. i've never been good at explaining how i feel or if i feel at all.

omg. i just looked at the ten day weather forecast for Tokyo and it actually says that it's supposed to rain EVERY DAY. rain sucks major ass and i wish it would die.

at least--i am more than halfway through my time here. i'll get to see my baby soon. i'm pretty sure the realization that i'm not here for too much longer has affected my already faltering social skills. in the numerous awkward conversations i have each day with new people i meet, i think: is there even enough time to create any sort of real friendship?

still, japan is pretty fucking amazing. i think kyle and i coming back out here so i can teach english in a few years is definitely a possibility.

this weekend i:

• was not bored for the first time
• wore some new shoes until my feet bled
• went to a mix cd exchange party in the park
• saw a skateboarding dog
• met a cute Japanese artist couple. the girl, Yuma, is a glassblower who makes necklaces i want to buy. the guy, Yoichi, studied abroad at KU a few years ago, has a love garden messenger bag, took art classes from Carol Ann Carter, and i guess, knows Annie!
  
• am excited that my friend Yun is back in Japan! i can't wait to hang out with her